Showbiz Shithole

Our childhood dreams are shattered as we lift the lid on the secret feud that's plagued the Star Wars saga for 30 years! We spoke to Kenny Baker (the bloke in the R2D2 costume) and this is what he told us! For a change this is all 100% straight-from-the-midget's mouth true!
"I went out to Tunisia for the Phantom Menace and when I got on the set everyone was saying ‘Oh now you’re back Kenny it feels like Star Wars again.’ All the other people were strangers - there was only C3P0 [played by Anthony Daniels] and me. No one likes C3P0 though because he’s an awkward bugger.
At first I thought he just didn’t get on with me but recently I’ve found out he doesn’t get on with anyone. I think he got his comeuppance at the huge convention and premiere event they had for Revenge of the Sith in Indianapolis. Usually they would have invited him to compere it but they got Warwick Davies [who played Wicket the Ewok] to do it instead. He’s been such a horrible person over the years - he’s really rude to people and the fans. I think he’s got a problem - I don’t know what it is though.
It’s a shame because if Anthony would just calm himself down and socialise with everybody he and I would clean up. We could tour the world for the next 5 years and make a lot of money. I’ve asked him 4 times now but he looked down his nose at me like I was a piece of shit and said ‘Sorry but I don’t do many of these convention things, go away little man.’ He really degraded me and made me feel small - for want of a better word. Another time I walked past him on set and said ‘Hi Anthony, did you have a good weekend’ and he looked over his shoulder and said ‘I’m having a conversation’ and walked away. I was so angry I could have hit him. There’s no need to be that rude - not only to me but also to the fans. You’re not rude to your fans are you? No doubt he’ll be at the London premiere but I don’t want to get into a slanging match with him, its not worth it is it? But its silly for him to be like that - we could make a fortune".

Will Kenny give C3P0 a smack at the premiere? Stay tuned! This is totally fucked up!