Showbiz Shithole

Boob flasher extraordinaire Kelly Brook, who now lives full time in LA, is flogging her range of manky bikinis at chav Mecca New Look. She celebrated by phoning me and boring on for 7 minutes about what ‘inspired’ her to knock up her pikey swimwear range (er, unemployment perhaps?) In true c-lister-with-a-chip-on-her-shoulder fashion though Kel got her thong in a twist when we tried to stray ‘off topic’. The big-headed-talent-blackhole came out ‘I don’t care what people think of me, the UK market is tiny. No one thinks about the UK when they’re casting movies or selling DVDs’. That’s as maybe Kel but seeing as the UK are the only fuckers who know who you are maybe you should keep your mouth shut? Sigh.

Shithole: ‘Are you going to invite Jason Statham [her ex] to your wedding to Billy Zane’

Kel: ‘That’s irrelevant.’

That’s a coincidence. Silly tart.